Underworld: Blood Wars (now on home video)

Review by Bob Ignizio

Plotless is a criticism one often sees leveled against action films. That's one failing  UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS certainly does not suffer from. On the contrary, there is so much plot that the film becomes a huge, incomprehensible mess. Not only do we have four previous films worth of backstory to recount in flashbacks and voice-overs, but there are multiple factions of vampires and werewolves each working to their own ends as they cross and double-cross each other. And sure, you can follow it if you pay close attention, but given how dumb and ridiculous it all is, the rewards don’t really justify the effort.

Dumb and ridiculous has always been a trademark of the UNDERWORLD series in which blood sucking “death dealer” Selene (Kate Beckinsale) has to do battle with the savage Lycans (the series name for werewolves) while simultaneously fending off scheming members her own kind. That was fine in the previous films, though, as it never felt like they took themselves all that seriously. As disposable as they may have been, they were entertaining on a B movie level, always offering plenty of well-staged action scenes and cheesy special effects. Here, the action and CGI monsters seem like more of an afterthought, with Cory Goodman’s script instead focusing on the dense mythology of the series.

 

31 Days of Halloween 2016: Vampyres (1974) (available on video and VOD)

[31 Days of Halloween 2016: VAMPYRES (1974). Available on DVD and VOD.]

Review by Eric Sever

There is a reason VAMPYRES is still remembered (and even dreadfully remade) this many years after the Hammer era flooded cinemas with countless similar gothic horrors. For being essentially an exploitation picture, this cult hit is atmospheric, sexy, and rather well made.

After two beautiful women are seemingly killed while making love inside a shadowy mansion, they begin appearing on the side of a road in the English countryside. The mysterious women ask motorists for a ride back to that decaying mansion, where the drivers are enticed inside and eventually used as food. Meanwhile, a young couple has made the mistake of setting up their RV right next to the doomed property.

31 Days of Halloween 2016: Vampyres (now available on home video and VOD)

[31 Days of Halloween 2016: VAMPYRES (2015) is now available on home video and VOD.]

Review by Eric Sever

To be fair to VAMPYRES, I was willing to lower the bar considerably.

It is, after all, a remake of a soapy exploitation hit from the 70s, where the big "hook" was that the vampire girls were, gasp, bisexual! I had no loyalty to the original, which I had not yet seen, but even with my greatly lowered expectations, I still thought this movie failed on nearly all counts.

The plot follows a man who drives an exotic hitchhiker back to her decrepit house. What he doesn't know is that the hitchhiker and her female roomie lure men to the house for blood orgies. Unfortunately -- most of all, for the audience -- these "orgies" generally consist of the two topless women licking the bloody faces of their dying victims, then swapping sticky, red spit back and forth, then licking each other's faces, then licking the victim's face again, then swapping more corn-syrupy spit, and repeat. They do this A LOT. In fact, they do this for several minutes at a time in numerous scenes during the movie's 82 minutes.

Repost: What We Do in the Shadows (February 19th at CWRU Strosacker Auditorium)

[WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS screens Friday February 19th at 7, 9, and 11:00 pm at the Case Western Reserve University Strosacker Auditorium.]

Review by Wayne Richards

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS is a brilliant new comedy from the creative minds of two of New Zealand’s finest and funniest performers. Jemaine Clement (the bespectacled bassist of Flight of the Conchords) has teamed up with Oscar-nominated filmmaker Taiki Waititi (Two Cars, One Night) to make this unrelenting chuckle fest centered on the dilemmas of the modern day vampire. Together, Clement and Waititi have written, directed and starred in a movie that is on par with anything in the pantheon of the great improvisational, mockumentary-style films of Christopher Guest.

Lips of Blood (October 30th at the Cleveland Cinematheque)

[LIPS OF BLOOD screens Friday October 30th at 10:10 pm at the Cleveland Cinematheque.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

French director Jean Rollin is best known for making plotless erotic vampire movies that offer up great visual moments and plenty of atmosphere, but not much in the way of story.  LIPS OF BLOOD is a rare exception in that there is a coherent plot in here somewhere.  Frederic (Jean-Loup Philippe) has little memory of his childhood.  All he can recall is something about staying the night at a castle with a pretty red haired girl (Annie Briand), a memory Frederic’s mother (Nathalie Perrey) has convinced him is only a dream.  But when Frederic sees an advertisement that uses the castle as its backdrop, he embarks on a dangerous quest to learn the truth about his past. 

This being a Jean Rollin film, it should come as no surprise that Frederic’s quest involves sexy female vampires in various states of undress, striking imagery like a coffin used as a boat, and an underlying theme of the youth/counter culture (represented by the vampires) being persecuted by the ignorant forces of authority.  The thematic and visual elements still rule the day, but with a more traditional narrative structure than most of Rollin’s films this is a more accessible movie than works like THE NUDE VAMPIRE or REQUIEM FOR A VAMPIRE.  As such, it makes a good entry point for those unfamiliar with Rollin’s work, as well as being a high point in the director’s career.  3 out of 4 stars.

Fascination (October 30th at the Cleveland CInematheque)

[FASCINATION screens Friday October 30th at 8:30 pm at the Cleveland Cinematheque.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

Like LIPS OF BLOOD and LIVING DEAD GIRL, this is one of the more coherent films from French director Jean Rollin.  Mark (Jean-Marie Lemaire), a thief, takes refuge from his former partners in a mansion.  The building is inhabited by two women who claim to be the servants.  In reality they are part of a cult of blood drinkers.  One of the women, Eva (Brigitte Lahaie), plans to turn Mark into the main course for her and her friends.  However Elisabeth (Franca Mai) takes a liking to Mark and wants to save him. 

Plot isn’t usually Rollin’s main focus, but the story in FASCINATION is actually pretty interesting and boasts a nice twist at the end.  Rollin’s trademark visual style is still apparent, but it’s somewhat toned down compared to his earlier works.  There’s also a little more sexual content, a necessary concession to the trends of the time, though not the full-on hardcore material that some of Rollin’s later films would include. It’s not exactly horror, and not exactly erotica, and not exactly an art film, but a little bit of all of the above. 3 out of 4 stars.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: What We Do in the Shadows

[31 Days of Halloween 2015: WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS is now available on DVD, Blu Ray, and On Demand.]

Review by Wayne Richards

*Note: As with last year’s 31 Days of Halloween marathon of horror movie reviews, we’ll be diving deep into the new release section looking for modern horror fare, hoping for the best, but frankly expecting the worst. And a further note for this review: yes, I'm slacking off and reposting a review from earlier this year, in this case one I didn't write. It's just been an especially busy week, and anyway, I really, really love this film just as much as Wayne does, and figure this 31 Days of Halloween thing is as good an excuse as any to remind anyone who hasn't seen it yet that they need to get out and rent it.*

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS is a brilliant new comedy from the creative minds of two of New Zealand’s finest and funniest performers. Jemaine Clement (the bespectacled bassist of Flight of the Conchords) has teamed up with Oscar-nominated filmmaker Taiki Waititi (Two Cars, One Night) to make this unrelenting chuckle fest centered on the dilemmas of the modern day vampire. Together, Clement and Waititi have written, directed and starred in a movie that is on par with anything in the pantheon of the great improvisational, mockumentary-style films of Christopher Guest.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Children of the Night (now on video)

[31 Days of Halloween 2015: CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT is now available on DVD, Blu Ray, and On Demand.]

Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.

*Note: As with last year’s 31 Days of Halloween marathon of horror movie reviews, we’ll be diving deep into the new release section looking for modern horror fare, hoping for the best, but frankly expecting the worst.*

Some day I’ll really regret not giving CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT a higher rating. Ivan Noel’s Argentinian dark-comedy vampire flick has chintzy digital production values that come through glaringly even on the small screen. Yet it boasts an imagination quotient and wit higher than its budget. When a blockbuster $100 million Hollywood remake opens in the multiplexes (its pointless sequels already posed to compete with INSIDIOUS 4 MEETS LAST EXORCISM 6 in causing teen riots at the Cinemark Valley View), I’ll really, really miss the hominess of this original, which was concocted under the title LIMBO.

Repost: What We Do in the Shadows (now playing in Akron at the Nightlight Cinema)

Review by Wayne Richards

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS is a brilliant new comedy from the creative minds of two of New Zealand’s finest and funniest performers. Jemaine Clement (the bespectacled bassist of Flight of the Conchords) has teamed up with Oscar-nominated filmmaker Taiki Waititi (Two Cars, One Night) to make this unrelenting chuckle fest centered on the dilemmas of the modern day vampire. Together, Clement and Waititi have written, directed and starred in a movie that is on par with anything in the pantheon of the great improvisational, mockumentary-style films of Christopher Guest.

What We Do in the Shadows

Review by Wayne Richards

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS is a brilliant new comedy from the creative minds of two of New Zealand’s finest and funniest performers. Jemaine Clement (the bespectacled bassist of Flight of the Conchords) has teamed up with Oscar-nominated filmmaker Taiki Waititi (Two Cars, One Night) to make this unrelenting chuckle fest centered on the dilemmas of the modern day vampire. Together, Clement and Waititi have written, directed and starred in a movie that is on par with anything in the pantheon of the great improvisational, mockumentary-style films of Christopher Guest.

Da Sweet Blood of Jesus (opens in Cleveland February 13th exclusively at the Cedar Lee Theatre)

[DA SWEET BLOOD OF JESUS opens in Cleveland on Friday February 13th exclusively at the Cedar Lee Theatre.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

The 1973 cult vampire/art film GANJA & HESS is exactly the kind of movie that should be remade. Writer/director Bill Gunn's strange hybrid of horror, blacksploitation, and art film had a lot of interesting ideas and potential, but it's the kind of film that even admirers tend to describe as “flawed”. Evidently one of those admirers is Spike Lee, who has remade GANJA & HESS under the title DA SWEET BLOOD OF JESUS. The results are... well, about the same.

Repost: A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (February 5th and 8th at the Cleveland Cinematheque)

[A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT screens Thursday February 5th at 6:45 pm and Sunday February 8th at 8:15 pm at the Cleveland Cinematheque.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

Earlier this year, Jim Jarmusch's vampire film ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE was released, and a very find film it was. Had Jarmusch chosen to deal with the undead earlier in his career, and had he been an Iranian woman instead of a guy from Northeast Ohio, he might well have come up with something like A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE instead. Of course that's a simplification; writer/director Ana Lily Amirpour has her own themes and stylistic touches, but the similarities to the early work of Jarmusch and other similarly inclined post-punk indie filmmakers who got their start in the early eighties are unmistakeable.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (now showing at the Nightlight Cinema in Akron, OH through December 18th)

[A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT is showing at the Nightlight Cinema in Akron, OH through December 18th.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

Earlier this year, Jim Jarmusch's vampire film ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE was released, and a very find film it was. Had Jarmusch chosen to deal with the undead earlier in his career, and had he been an Iranian woman instead of a guy from Northeast Ohio, he might well have come up with something like A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE instead. Of course that's a simplification; writer/director Ana Lily Amirpour has her own themes and stylistic touches, but the similarities to the early work of Jarmusch and other similarly inclined post-punk indie filmmakers who got their start in the early eighties are unmistakeable.

31 Days of Halloween 2014: Rigor Mortis

*Note: This year for our annual 31 Days of Halloween marathon of horror movie reviews, rather than write about old favorites, we're focusing on modern horror films that haven't had a wide theatrical release. So for the entire month of October, we will be dealing with horror fare that you can find in the “New Release” section of Netflix or (if you still have one) your local video store. So instead of nostalgic appreciations and recommendations, this promises to be more of a “the good, the bad, and the ugly” kind of affair. Hopefully more good than bad and ugly, but that remains to be seen.

Review by Bob Ignizio

In a manner similar to the 2008 Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle JCVD, RIGOR MORTIS finds Hong Kong actor Chin Siu-ho playing a fictionalized version of himself. Once cast in such popular fare as the MR. VAMPIRE series and Jet Li's FIST OF LEGEND and TAI-CHI MASTER, Chin has fallen on hard times as he movies in to a dilapidated high rise apartment building, and in fact plans to kill himself there. However when he attempts suicide, he finds himself assaulted by evil spirits trying to take possession of his body. Chin is saved both from the spirits and himself thanks to the timely intervention of another resident of the building, former vampire hunter Yau (Anthony Chan, another MR. VAMPIRE veteran). That's far from the end of the supernatural goings-on in the building, and not the last time Chin's life will hang in the balance, either.

31 Days of Halloween 2014: Only Lovers Left Alive

*Note: This year for our annual 31 Days of Halloween marathon of horror movie reviews, rather than write about old favorites, we're focusing on modern horror films that haven't had a wide theatrical release. So for the entire month of October, we will be dealing with horror fare that you can find in the “New Release” section of Netflix or (if you still have one) your local video store. So instead of nostalgic appreciations and recommendations, this promises to be more of a “the good, the bad, and the ugly” kind of affair. Hopefully more good than bad and ugly, but that remains to be seen.

Also, I got a little bit behind on this series, so I'm going the cheap route and reposting a review. Most likely you'll see a couple other reposts until I get caught up. All the reposts will still fit the criteria of being new releases, and at least in this case, warrant additional hyping.

Review by Bob Ignizio

I've gotta' say, I never expected to read an interview with Jim Jarmusch in Fangoria magazine. Nonetheless, the noted indie filmmaker made it into the venerable journal of gory horror films earlier this year thanks to his latest effort, the moody vampire romance ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE. In the piece, Jarmusch showed himself far better versed in the horror genre, particularly as it pertains to bloodsuckers, than most of the hacks who wind up helming Hollywood fright flicks these days. He even mentioned French director Jean Rollin, whose singular vamp films mixed erotica, psychedelia, and a certain kind of dreamlike romanticism, which immediately upped my level of interest in the film. And he wasn't just whistling "Dixie", as even the poster art for LOVERS recalls Rollin's work.