Once Upon a Time (opens August 11th at Cinemark at Valley View)

[ONCE UPON A TIME opens in Cleveland on Friday August 11^th at Cinemark at Valley View.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

There’s a whole lot of plot in the epic action/romance/fantasy film ONCE UPON A TIME. Like, literally three lifetimes worth of plot. And not just ordinary lifetimes, but the lifetimes of immortal Chinese gods who live for hundreds of years, then get reborn to live hundreds more.

As is often the case in movies about gods, whatever their nationality, there’s lots of scheming and plotting by one deity against another. In this case, Bai Qian (Liu Yifei) is the immortal being plotted against, although we don’t initially know the details of who is doing the plotting or why. All we know when we are first introduced to her is that she has fallen from the heavens, and upon landing on earth, has lost much of her memory.

The Exception (opens June 23rd at the Cedar Lee Theatre)

[THE EXCEPTION opens in Cleveland on Friday June 23rd exclusively at the Cedar Lee Theatre.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

A racy bit of historical fiction, David Leveaux's THE EXCEPTION is set shortly before World War II has begun. Hitler has come to power, and Germany's former ruler, Kaiser Wilhelm (Christopher Plummer), is living in exile in the Netherlands with his wife Princess Hermine (Janet McTeer). Nonetheless, Hitler is still concerned that the Kaiser might exert his influence on the populace. To keep tabs on the Kaiser, he has former SS officer Stefan Brandt (Jai Courtney) assigned to look after the monarch.

Brandt finds himself keeping his eye not so much on the Kaiser, though, but rather on the Kaiser's pretty maid Mieke de Jong (Lily James). But beyond the fact that he isn't supposed to be engaging in hanky panky with the help, there's a pretty big complication to this budding romance: Mieke is a British spy, not to mention Jewish.

Lovesong (April 20th and 21st at the Cleveland Cinematheque)

[LOVESONG screens Thursday April 20th at 6:45 pm and Friday April 21st at 9:30 pm at the Cleveland Cinematheque.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

If you like subtle, well-acted character studies of complex and believable female characters, then LOVESONG may well be for you. The film is about the friendship between Sarah (Riley Keough), a married mom with a young daughter and a frequently absent workaholic husband, and Mindy (Jena Malone), a more free spirited woman who is her best friend. With Sarah's daughter in tow, the two embark on a road trip. Along the way they hash out Sarah's issues with her husband, attend a rodeo and a carnival, and perhaps get a little closer than just friends.

Maybe a little too close. Seemingly out of the blue, Mindy buys a ticket back home. It's 3 years before the women reconnect, for Mindy's wedding. Not surprisingly, it's a bit awkward.

The Ottoman Lieutenant

Review by Bob Ignizio

This review is going to get a little bit conceptual, so stick with me, okay? Okay.

There's a production company called The Asylum. You may know them from their inexplicably popular series of intentionally bad SHARKNADO films, and other equally silly creature features. Before they hit on that winning formula, though, the company specialized in "mockbusters". Essentially, low budget knock-offs of Hollywood films timed to hit video store shelves just as their mainstream counterparts showed up in theaters. Examples include TRANSMORPHERS, ALIEN VS. HUNTER, and THE DAVINCI TREASURE.

Fifty Shades Darker

Review by Bob Ignizio

Picking up shortly after the end of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, FIFTY SHADES DARKER finds Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) starting work as personal assistant for book editor Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson) and trying to get on with her life after breaking up with kinky, damaged billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Anastasia had left Christian after realizing that his lifestyle of extreme S & M was not her cup of tea, and that he was so hardwired for that kind of sex that he could never be fulfilled by the "vanilla" relationship she wanted.

Christian desperately wants Anastasia back, though. So desperately that he believes his passion can overcome his sadistic inclinations. Anastasia wants Christian back, too, so they decide to give their romance another whirl.

Love Finds You in Valentine (now on video)

 There is lots of excitement right now about the prospect of NE Ohio shooting for the movie version of My Friend Dahmer, the excellent graphic memoir by local cartoonist John `Derf' Backderf about his real-life high-school comradeship in the 1970s with Bath Township resident and future Milwaukee serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

Ohio badly needs a new economic base; serial killer nostalgia in movies may as well be it. Or does anyone doubt for a minute we’ll someday get a flick about the early years of “Buffalo Bill” from SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (a Columbus resident, as readers of the novel will remember)?

But is there a more genteel alternative? Quietly, without much hype (or mass-murderer trading cards), there’s another wave of film production taking place here, for the TV marketplace. And also adaptations of top-selling books. And no, not Thomas Harris ones.

LOVE FINDS YOU IN VALENTINE is the first one, based on novelist Irene Brand’s hit Love Finds You in Valentine, Nebraska, which became a frontrunner in a whole subgenre of regional romances promoted in association with the religious digest Guideposts. I doubt there are a lot of subscribers to Guideposts who have also read My Friend Dahmer, but trust me, the marketplace out there for faith-based romantic fiction is enormous.

And somehow the Cleveland Film Commission nabbed the Irene Brand property away from shooting in Nebraska (or that old fallback, Canada) to lens in Ohio after all. Maybe they promised the whole Guideposts staff would meet LeBron (or Machine Gun Kelly).

Amira & Sam (now on video)

Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.

I had heard around the time that STOP LOSS came out that whenever a new screen drama about the Gulf War was trailered, audiences would boo and hiss the coming-attraction. Take that as yahoo Bush supporters tired of all the negativity about their great man, or take that as public distaste for the misconceived regime-change operation that was "Opertion Iraqi Freedom." But the point is, Gulf War movies, unless one makes a big exception for AMERICAN SNIPER, have largely been box-office as well as political poison. 

Possibly explaining part of the low profile for AMIRA & SAM, a well-intended dramedy that is the debut of writer-director Sean Mullin, who is also a Gulf vet and injected a certain amount of autobiography. Fresh faces enhance Mullin's somewhat contrived opposites-attract picture, whose Islamic-cultural hook is also a hot-cold running gimmick.

Eastern Boys (June 24th at the Cleveland Museum of Art)

[EASTERN BOYS screens Wednesday June 24th at 6:45 pm at the Cleveland Museum of Art.]

Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.

It's been a recurring complaint of mine that I get assigned an inordinate amount of gay-themed movies to watch. More than my share, I do believe. I've long complained about it elsewhere; no need to go into gory details here.

But just know that if any paying media outlet had actually, after this long, long, "Cleveland Rising" (yeah, right; not for me) employment drought, genuinely, truly rehired me and told me my first assignment was to see JURASSIC WORLD, I'd probably freak out. Like so:

"You can't fool me! It's another GAY movie! There it is, right in the title! The word `ass!' The real name is probably YOUR ASS IS MY WORLD and the marketing people at Universal just misheard it. And presumed there were dinosaurs in the plot. It's really one of those BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN type man-on-man romances: "Your ass is my world," yes, probably taken directly from the dialogue. I can hear that becoming the catchphrase when this winds up a Best Picture nominee, the gold statuette personally handed over by Neil Patrick Harris and Jodie Foster. I need a break from the damn gay movies!..."

Well, I didn't get rehired anywhere, didn't get to see JURASSIC WORLD. I did, however, make a few bucks seeing the French film EASTERN BOYS. To paraphrase Ellen Degeneres, yep, it's gay.

The Age of Adaline

Review by Candice Lee Catullo

THE AGE OF ADALINE is clouded with a dark but sentimental nostalgia. Through the dreamy haze, we meet Adeline in San Francisco in the year 2014.

The narrator explains: Adaline, played by Blake Lively (GOSSIP GIRL), was in a car accident in 1935. Through a series of unlikely events – and a healthy does of movie magic – Adaline’s body stops aging. Even Adaline cannot comprehend the preposterous sci-fi magic that paused her lifespan, and she spends her life hiding her condition for fear of being analyzed and criticized. In 2014, she is going by the alias Jenny and is living a mostly solitary life.

Spring (April 18th and 22nd at the Capitol Theatre)

[SPRING screens Saturday April 18th at midnight and Wednesday April 22nd at 7:30 pm at the Capitol Theatre.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

One can see why filmmaker Richard Linklatter liked SPRING so much: in many ways, it's a lot like his own BEFORE SUNRISE. Both films are nearly plotless romances in which an average American guy and a beautiful European woman meet and fall in love while on holiday. The couples then spend most of their respective movies primarily engaged in conversation. The key difference in SPRING is that its female lead, Louise (Nadia Hilker), turns out to be an immortal shape shifter who occasionally loses control and kills people, a fact she wants to keep secret from her would-be boyfriend Evan (Lou Taylor Pucci).

The Longest Ride

Review by Candice Lee Catullo

This film, based on Nicholas Sparks’ 2013 novel by the same name, is the most recent in a long string of Sparks’ big screen adaptations. After ten movies, it seems like it's down to a science – the science of really good-looking actors writing love letters and getting caught in the rain.

THE LONGEST RIDE is the love story of a sorority sister and a bull rider. Britt Robertson (DAN IN REAL LIFE, SCREAM 4) plays Sophia, a Manhattan-bound art history student at Wake Forrest University. Sophia’s sorority sisters drag her along on an outing to the local bull riding competition – to meet hot bull riders, obviously – where she meets North Carolina rancher and professional bull rider Luke, played by Scott Eastwood (FURY, TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE, INVICTUS). They meet and seemingly fall instantly in love.

3 Hearts (opens in Cleveland April 3rd exclusively at the Cedar Lee Theatre)

[3 HEARTS opens in Cleveland on Friday April 3rd exclusively at the Cedar Lee Theatre.]

Review by Milan Paurich

Nothing satisfies the heart and the head like a good French film. For me, there’s always been something deliciously comforting about sitting in the dark and listening to attractive, intelligent actors speak French. If you close your eyes, it’s like being transported to Gay Paree. And really, is there anything better than that?

French movies are invariably more grown-up and sophisticated than their American counterparts. Nobody makes a big deal about sex, smoking isn’t treated like a federal offense, and large quantities of wine (usually good French red wine) are invariably consumed without anyone dying of cirrhosis. Everything seems—and sounds—better in French.

Serena (opens in Cleveland March 27th exclusively at the Cedar Lee Theatre)

[SERENA opens in Cleveland on Friday March 27th exclusively at the Cedar Lee Theatre.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

Within its first ten minutes, SERENA resoundingly establishes its credentials as a bad movie. Unless you have to watch the movie to review it, or you're a masochist (sometimes feels like the same thing), you should cut your losses at this point. The film is badly cast, badly written, badly directed, badly edited, and badly scored. At least cinematographer Morten Søborg does his job well, but no matter how well you film a traffic accident, it's still a traffic accident.

Appropriate Behavior (now playing in Cleveland exclusively at the Capitol Theatre)

[APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR is now playing in Cleveland exclusively at the Capitol Theatre.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

Even though I tend to hate indie rom coms about self absorbed young people living in New York or L.A. and suffering the indignities of complicated love lives and unsatisfying careers, I try to keep an open mind. When my preconceptions are proven wrong, it's worth it. Case in point, APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR, a genuinely funny film written, directed by, and starring Desiree Akhavan.

Akhavan plays Shirin, a Persian-American bisexual (though mostly lesbian) who has just broken up with her girlfriend Maxine (Rebecca Henderson), largely due to the fact that she won't come out of the closet to her parents. Things on the job front aren't going so well, either, as Shirin takes a job teaching a film class which turns out to be for six year olds. To top it all off, Shirin's brother gets engaged to just the right kind of girl to win parental approval. Unsure how to get her life back on track, Shirin embarks on a series of sexual escapades with men and women, sometimes both at the same time. But what she really wants, or at least thinks she does, is to have Maxine back.

31 Days of Halloween 2014: Only Lovers Left Alive

*Note: This year for our annual 31 Days of Halloween marathon of horror movie reviews, rather than write about old favorites, we're focusing on modern horror films that haven't had a wide theatrical release. So for the entire month of October, we will be dealing with horror fare that you can find in the “New Release” section of Netflix or (if you still have one) your local video store. So instead of nostalgic appreciations and recommendations, this promises to be more of a “the good, the bad, and the ugly” kind of affair. Hopefully more good than bad and ugly, but that remains to be seen.

Also, I got a little bit behind on this series, so I'm going the cheap route and reposting a review. Most likely you'll see a couple other reposts until I get caught up. All the reposts will still fit the criteria of being new releases, and at least in this case, warrant additional hyping.

Review by Bob Ignizio

I've gotta' say, I never expected to read an interview with Jim Jarmusch in Fangoria magazine. Nonetheless, the noted indie filmmaker made it into the venerable journal of gory horror films earlier this year thanks to his latest effort, the moody vampire romance ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE. In the piece, Jarmusch showed himself far better versed in the horror genre, particularly as it pertains to bloodsuckers, than most of the hacks who wind up helming Hollywood fright flicks these days. He even mentioned French director Jean Rollin, whose singular vamp films mixed erotica, psychedelia, and a certain kind of dreamlike romanticism, which immediately upped my level of interest in the film. And he wasn't just whistling "Dixie", as even the poster art for LOVERS recalls Rollin's work.

Stay (now on video)

Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.

I guess most of the attention to STAY will be focused on the leading actress, Taylor Schilling. This pretty lady is a hot property for the moment thanks to the success of the Netflix series Orange is the New Black. Which I have never been paid to watch so cannot speak to its virtues.

But I can say that, with the rate of our celebrated actors meeting untimely ends lately (Paul Walker, James Gandolfini, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Williams, Richard Kiel, the werewolf guy from Harry Potter), my advice to Ms. Taylor Schilling might roughly be RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! SHOWBIZ KILLS! Get out while you can! Who could say how much longer Lauren Bacall might have lived and what she might have achieved, had not Hollywood drained and degraded her?

Besides, for my part, the cool thing in STAY is seeing steely longtime Canadian actor Michael Ironside, late of villainy in countless cable-TV thrillers and sci-fi potboilers (not to mention being the bad guy in FREE WILLY and a doomed good guy in STARSHIP TROOPERS) finally getting to play a fairly normal-bloke supporting role.

Only Lovers Left Alive (now on video)

Review by Bob Ignizio

I've gotta' say, I never expected to read an interview with Jim Jarmusch in Fangoria magazine. Nonetheless, the noted indie filmmaker made it into the venerable journal of gory horror films earlier this year thanks to his latest effort, the moody vampire romance ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE. In the piece, Jarmusch showed himself far better versed in the horror genre, particularly as it pertains to bloodsuckers, than most of the hacks who wind up helming Hollywood fright flicks these days. He even mentioned French director Jean Rollin, whose singular vamp films mixed erotica, psychedelia, and a certain kind of dreamlike romanticism, which immediately upped my level of interest in the film. And he wasn't just whistling "Dixie", as even the poster art for LOVERS recalls Rollin's work.

Half of a Yellow Sun (September 6th at the Cleveland Cinematheque)

[HALF OF A YELLOW SUN screens Saturday September 6th at 7:40 pm at the Cleveland Cinematheque.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

Hollywood isn’t much for sprawling historical epics these days, but fans of soapy spectaculars should find what they crave in the British/Nigerian co-production HALF OF A YELLOW SUN. The film follows upper class, English-educated Nigerian twin sisters Olanna (Thandie Newton) and Kainene (Anika Noni Rose) as they cope with rapid societal changes in the wake of their country gaining independence from Great Britain in 1960.

The film focuses primarily on Olanna and her love affair with Odenigbo (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a professor Kainene mockingly refers to as “the revolutionary”. Meanwhile Kainene has settled down with British writer Richard (Joseph Mawle), a frequent guest at the intellectual chat sessions hosted by Odenigbo. While the characters takes go through all the usual infidelities and betrayals one expects in middlebrow romantic historical dramas of this sort, political turmoil in their homeland buils, ultimately leading to full-blow civil war.

Words and Pictures

Review by Bob Ignizio

Is a picture really worth a thousand words, or does a well turned phrase have a power beyond any image? Can one time literary star turned alcoholic English teacher Jack Marcus (Clive Owen) use this contrived conflict to save his job and win the heart of Dina DeiSanto (Juliette Binoche), a beautiful but bitter art teacher with arthritis? Can Jack reconnect with his estranged son and see past his own biases to deal with a case of sexual harassment perpetrated by a favorite student? Can Dina find inspiration and a new way to paint despite her debilitating illness? Most importantly, can WORDS AND PICTURES effectively combine all of these plot threads into a satisfying whole? I leave it to potential viewers to find the answer to most of these questions for themselves, but as to the last, the answer is a resounding “no”.

The Face of Love (opens March 28th at the Cedar Lee Theatre)

[THE FACE OF LOVE opens Friday March 28th at the Cedar Lee.]

Review by Milan Paurich

There are two good reasons to queue up for “The Face of Love:”  Annette Bening and Annette Bening. Maybe a third reason if you count the always welcome Ed Harris, despite the estimable chrome dome being saddled with a soggy punchline of a role. Directed and co-written by Arie Posin whose promising 2005 debut, THE CHUMSCRUBBER, was barely released despite its illustrious cast (Ralph Fiennes, Jamie Bell, Glenn Close, et al), the considerably less ambitious LOVE is essentially a Lifetime flick with movie stars.