Review by Eric Sever
To be fair to VAMPYRES, I was willing to lower the bar considerably.
It is, after all, a remake of a soapy exploitation hit from the 70s, where the big "hook" was that the vampire girls were, gasp, bisexual! I had no loyalty to the original, which I had not yet seen, but even with my greatly lowered expectations, I still thought this movie failed on nearly all counts.
The plot follows a man who drives an exotic hitchhiker back to her decrepit house. What he doesn't know is that the hitchhiker and her female roomie lure men to the house for blood orgies. Unfortunately -- most of all, for the audience -- these "orgies" generally consist of the two topless women licking the bloody faces of their dying victims, then swapping sticky, red spit back and forth, then licking each other's faces, then licking the victim's face again, then swapping more corn-syrupy spit, and repeat. They do this A LOT. In fact, they do this for several minutes at a time in numerous scenes during the movie's 82 minutes.
