Jayne Mansfield's Car (now on video)

[JAYNE MANSFIELD'S CAR is now available on home video.]

Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.
 

Wow, am I reading a strange book right now. The author, a West Coast freelance writer-author-insider in the "debauched and depraved" LA entertainment realm, claimed to have gone through toxic girlfriends, anger-management issues and a sojourn in Japan, whilst still covering local musicians for assorted journals. And, as a sideline, he took up lucid dreaming, setting down in longhand detail as many of his dreams and nightmares as he could. Many of them are of bizarre and violent aspect, often involving his own death or the murder of others at his bloodstained stands.

[Interesting to note that when Cleveland's eminent SCENE weekly downsized and let go of the movie-reviewing freelancers - myself included - they still determined to retain their music stringers. You really think that was a good idea, keeping the freelancers who dream of homicide all the time? Just saying...]

Late Bloomers (now on video)

Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.

Beware what you wish for, you may get it... Okay, savvy readers will know by now that an opener like that can only mean two things. Either Charles is going to discuss his dismal romantic life, or he'll bemoan a rare motion picture actually made for grownups that still disappointed.

Since it's nowhere near Valentine's Day, you are all in luck, it's the latter. LATE BLOOMERS is a feature expressly meant for a viewing demographic older than 13- to 24 year-old male misogynists. Speaking of which, I just finally got around to eyeballing SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, for example. Probably got a big thumbs-up from Maxim or FHM. Ugh, where is Alan Smithee now that we need him? And there's a lot more where that came from, often worse.

On the other hand, Un film de Julie Gavra, LATE BLOOMERS is a Belgian-UK co-production (filmed in English) about senior-citizen blues. No objection so far; there was an opening-nite movie at the Cleveland International Film Festival once, A FISH IN THE BATHTUB, with Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, that was terrific. Alas, this one's just a fitfully engaging dramedy.

Nobody Walks (now on video)

Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.

If you watched the Academy Awards this year, or any recent year - and no sweat if you didn't; the NBC documentary about behind the scenes at Saturday Night Live was rather more entertaining - then you'll certainly have noted that, in just about every winner's speech where relationships apply, the lucky Oscar holder thanks his dear wife (female winners don't seem to feel the need to thank husbands, credit Hilary Swank for that feminist advance). I always find this a little funny, given that, as we know, a careerist in the cinema biz could be married to a stunning, oft-naked supermodel and devoted mother of his perfect children, and it doesn't matter; first opportunity he gets, he'll tumble into bed with any on-set doxy he can grab. I won't name any names - I'll just name a title: SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN. Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking.