Beastly

Review by Bob Ignizio

In this update of the Beauty and the Beast story, soon-to-beast Kyle (Alex Pettyfer) is the son of a TV news anchor (Peter Krause) who values people based on their appearance and wealth. Kyle believes his own good looks and wealth entitle him to win a student election for presidency of an environmental club. He doesn't even care about the issues, but figures it will look good on his transcript. This doesn't sit well with practicing witch Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen), so she casts a spell that makes Kyle lose his hair, acquire a couple of dangerous looking facial scars, grow a metal thing on his nose, and sprout numerous edgy looking tattoos. He looks more like the frontman for a screamo band than a horribly disfigured monster, but just go with it.

Now Kyle must get someone to say they love him, and really mean it, or else be doomed to work in the Jim Rose Circus for the rest of his life. Having met Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens) once and immediately sensed a “connection”, the logical thing to do is kidnap the girl and keep her prisoner. Both Kyle's cliché wise ethnic housekeeper (Lisa Gay Hamilton) and blind tutor (Neil Patrick Harris) not only go along with his criminal behavior, they encourage it. No one even mentions any concerns about being charged as accessories to a crime.

The plot seems a lot cuter when it's a Disney cartoon set in some unspecified “once upon a time” with talking teapots and candlesticks. Moving this kind of tale to the modern world always drives home for me that what passes for romance in fairytales seems more like borderline sociopathic stalker behavior in the real world. But then I thought the same thing about the TWILIGHT series, which apparently a great many teens (and older folks, too) find plenty romantic. Who am I to spoil their fun?

“I've seen worse,” says Lindy upon first seeing the face of her beast, Kyle. Her observation could just as easily serve as my review of this movie. It's competently made, the Beast makeup is kind of cool looking, and the cast is likeable (especially Neil Patrick Harris, who gets most of the good comic relief moments). I couldn't quite muster up enough suspension of disbelief to buy into the tale, but for those content not to look too far beneath the surface, BEASTLY should be reasonably entertaining fluff. 2 out of 4 stars.