The patriotic alternative to NFL Football is Cinema Wasteland in Strongsville, Sept.29-Oct.1

 I suppose you are all wondering where the Cleveland Movie Blog stands in the NFL athletes-taking-the-knee-against-the-National-Anthem controversy. Well, I am proud to announce that we of the Blog are on the same side as President Trump with this one.

Our reasons are as obvious as the stars and stripes on the Banner We Wave. You see, in schlocky movies, football jocks are almost horrible characters, top of the cruel food chain in cinematic depictions of high school or college.

Usually they are portrayed as dumb school bullies and would-be rapists who hold sadistic hazing rituals. They torment the cool kids - who are, typically, the only ones who know what to do when aliens or zombies invade – and they play stupid pranks all the time. So much so that when a mad slasher starts killing all the kids, for most of the movie nobody takes evasive action because it’s assumed to be harmless mischief by the moron football players with their practical jokes. Until that scene when some innocent girl (usually played by Jill Schoelen) find the bloody bodies of the whole line of scrimmage stuffed into a row of lockers and knows it’s not them making everybody disappear.

At Cinema Wasteland the Best Picture Oscar wouldn’t have gone to La La Land either, in Strongsville April 7-9

[The Cinema Wasteland Movie Convention takes place Friday April 7th through Sunday April 9th at the Strongsville Holiday Inn.]

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.

This weekend Clevelanders can pay tribute the heroes of independent cinema motion-picture fine arts, renown and honored around the world for the immortal moments on celluloid these artists created...No, not at the Cleveland International Film Festival. What does that have to do with anything?

No, the real deal is at the Holiday Inn Select in Strongsville, for a 50th Anniversary reunion of indie film vets who created NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD in the Pittsburgh area, and movie history (let alone Pennsylvania history) was never the same.

Making motion pictures Not Great Again: Cinema Wasteland in Strongsville, September 30 – October 2

 

With the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie divorce once again reminding us that film is a morass of sleaze and moral degradation, Cinema Wasteland brings it on for a fall session.

In the spirit of such movie-memorabilia and nostalgia expos as the Monster Bash in Pittsburgh and DragonCon in Atlanta, Cinema Wasteland is a fan gathering, film marathon, variety show and vendor fair at the Holiday Inn Select of Strongsville.

CW is devoted to what founder Ken Kish describes as the drive-in B-movie golden era, roughly from the late 1950s to the late 1980s. Glory years for horror, fantasy, science-fiction, Roger Corman, spaghetti westerns, martial-arts, juvenile delinquency melodramas, nudie-cuties, Filipino actioners, blaxploitation, rock'n'roll and psychedelia, post-nuke car chases, summer-camp sex and slapstick, underground comix-inspired animation and, well, whatever else artists du cinema could make or release quick, cheap and dirty.

CinEvent in Columbus, June 2-5

Why go all the way down to Columbus for a movie convention and expo? Isn't this the CLEVELAND movie blog? Shouldn't Columbus get a movie-blog website of its own?

Well, let's face it. The Republican National Convention is coming to Cleveland next month to determine the nominee for president, and while City Hall is putting a brave face on things, let's just assume for sake of argument that Cleveland is about to be destroyed. Completely. Riots, disorder, protests, dogs and cats living together, all our worst nightmares. You've seen those photos of Stalingrad after the Soviets beat back the Germans? Cleveland will end up being kind of like that.

So it would behoove local residents to get used to going to other cities for their movie conventions, is all we're saying, in case Cleveland is just a pile of smoldering ruins.

There's a second reason, of course. Going downstate to the 50th annual CinEvent Classic Film Convention is simply worth it.

Oriented to the greats and the unsung curios of Hollywood's golden age (sorry, THE FORCE AWAKENS doesn't count), CinEvent is the state's oldest and best established movie-nostalgia expo, and unlike other "cons" it's less focused on celebrity guests (although a few VIP authors and actors do show up) than on memorabilia and relics of a cherished bygone era in film. 

Donald Trump would go over well here too: Cinema Wasteland, October 2, 3 and 4.

[Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.]

The Strongsville-centered Cinema Wasteland grindhouse-movie, sci-fi/exploitation and drive-in culture convention happens twice every year – which means at least as often as the Browns win. So which one should you patronize this weekend?

 

Thought so. In the spirit of such movie-memorabilia and nostalgia expos as the Monster Bash in Pittsburgh and DragonCon in Atlanta, Cinema Wasteland is a fan gathering, film marathon, variety show and memorabilia expo at the Holiday Inn Select of Strongsville, devoted to what founder Ken Kish, of Berea, underscores as the B-movie golden era, roughly from the late 1950s to the late 1980s.

Those, affirms Kish, were the glory years of horror, fantasy, science-fiction, Roger Corman, spaghetti westerns, martial-arts, juvenile delinquency melodramas, nudie-cuties, Filipino actioners, Italian "giallo" thrillers, blaxploitation, rock'n'roll and psychedelia, post-nuke car chases, summer-camp sex and slapstick, underground comix-inspired animation and, well, whatever else artists du cinema could make or release quick, cheap and dirty.

An affair to remember: CinEvent in Columbus, May 22-25

[CinEvent takes place Friday May 22nd through Monday May 25th at the Renaissance Downtown Columbus Hotel.]

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr. 

Before it became more or less identified with summer-blockbuster kickoffs and superhero sequels, Memorial Day Weekend was actually about memorializing the fallen - remember?

And this Memorial Day we would like you to remember a certain Steve Haynes, who died in April at the age of 68.

Haynes, a film super-fan, was one of the co-founders of Ohio's oldest movie expo, CinEvent in Columbus. A Memorial Day weekend tradition, CinEvent happens this year in its 47th edition. Expect many tributes to Haynes during the three-day festival.

Likely to be more enjoyable than the Browns' upcoming season: Cinema Wasteland, April 10, 11 and 12.

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.

It was with some fanfare a short time ago that a Bruce Willis-Ben Kingsley thriller called WAKE started filming in Cleveland...and it was with slightly less fanfare that the financing fell through. Whilst the Cleveland Film Commission assured that WAKE was still a green-light project, the trade papers say that the director and stars have all left. No money, you know. Write your own Cleveland punchline to that one. I do mourn for the local movie-crew support types who were gambling on a decent paycheck from working on such a project, in this still-flatline economy. No wonder the thing was called WAKE.

Perhaps instead turn your attention to Strongsville this weekend, and Cinema Wasteland, where cinematic, uh, accomplishments that actually made it successfully to large screens and small screens are hailed.

A Halloween Ghoulardifest, Oct 31 to Nov. 2 in Parma

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.

Other than LeBron James, the only thing significant about Cleveland, as we know, is GhoulardiFest, happening as an apres-Halloween treat this weekend in the only place it could happen - Parma.

It's virtually impossible to imagine North Coast culture without channel 8's Ernie "Ghoulardi" Anderson, who, as host of WJW-TV's "Shock Theatre," put on a garishly phony goatee and Fu Manchu mustache and spiced up B-grade horror and sci-fi flicks for insomniac viewers in beatnik-comic fashion for a few brilliant years there in the mid-1960s. The silver-tongued announcer, unrecognizable in his fright-wig disguise, would do blackout comedy bits (some including a young sidekick named Tim Conway), sound effects, songs and the catchphrases. "Turn blue!" "Stay sick!" "Ovaday!" "Dorrrothy..." And offscreen his family grew to include filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson (MAGNOLIA and othes).

Slender Man orders you to go to Cinema Wasteland, October 3, 4 and 5.

[Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.]

The Strongsville-centered Cinema Wasteland grindhouse-movie, sci-fi/exploitation and drive-in culture convention happens twice every year, in the spring and in the fall. It's a real head-spinner now to think about how much the world we know had changed since then.

Back in March/April 2014, LeBron James was far, far away, and Cleveland was never going to live down the humiliation of his departure. No adult knew what a Slender Man was. The Valentines disappearance of Malaysian Airlines 370 had triggered a massive search, was expected to be resolved straightaway. Donald Sterling was due to get an award from the money-grubbing NAACP. Everyone was anticipating a great year at the movies, starting with the Cleveland-filmed CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER.

Now it's September/October 2014. The Malaysian Airliner enigma is still unsolved. Robin Williams suicided himself. War in Gaza. War in the Ukraine. War in Ferguson, Missouri. Donald Sterling out; his treacherous informant-mistress probably guaranteed a cushy media job anywhere she goes; thank you, "diversity" hiring. America is losing Iraq and Libya. Children are killing each other to placate Slender Man. Ebola is rampant. Illegals are swarming up from Central America...

Just about every corner of the planet is in turmoil...except Cleveland. LeBron is coming back (supposedly). Cleveland won the Republican Convention. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER was a tremendous success, in a year that is otherwise shaping up to be the film industry's absolute worst since the dismal annum of 1997 (a year I recall with particular soul-wrenching pain). Even the Browns won. At least one game, I'm pretty sure.

CinEvent returns/revives vintage movies in Columbus, May 22-25

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.

Ever since LeBron James left, the only significant thing about Cleveland, we can all agree, is that it is somewhat geographically convenient for visiting the thriving state capital of Columbus, Ohio, only a few hours down south by freeway.

And the only significant thing about Columbus, we can all agree (aside from being the corporate headquarters of Big Lots! Shoutout to one of my former employers which whom I parted amicably) is that the city has been – for 46 years now – the home of CinEvent, one of the top movie-nostalgia expos and markets in the nation.

An Ohio Memorial Day tradition and the state’s oldest movie expo, CinEvent enables one to participate in one of the region’s biggest auctions of classic movie posters and lobby cards, or browse at more than 170 tables of dealer tables full of movie merchandise, trading in everything from autographed star portraits to animation cels to soundtrack vinyl and CDs to rare tie-in paperbacks to ephemera, to the ultimate movie collectibles - movies.

Cleveland schlocks! At SchlockFest in the Flats, March 1

[Event Preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.]

Ever since LeBron James left, the only thing significant about Cleveland, we can all agree, are a new series of local-interest expos/conventions bravely launched by upstart Land of Cleve Productions. The group put on the first-ever CleveCon 2014 earlier this year, hosting in a variety of guests from realms of NE Ohio music, sports, literature and popular culture.

Scheduled over the next several months are specialty 'cons,' all held at McCarthy's Alehouse in the Flats. These bid to bring Cleveland waterfront bar-crawlers of 2014 eye-to-bloodshot eye with local mystery writers and Whovians (at SherlockCon), local music acts and collectors (TuneCon), local authors in all genres (BookCon), local comics (Cleveland ComicCon), etc. But if one must choose one con to attend that just about sums up area culture, before Land of Cleve becomes so successful the organization relocates to South Beach, San Jose or Baltimore (such has happened before, let's face it), the place to be is SchlockFest, on Saturday, March 1, from 2:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. 

Now proven more wholesome than Miley Cyrus: Cinema Wasteland, October 4, 5 and 6.

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.

As we know, ever since LeBron James left the only thing significant about Cleveland is that it's not too far from Strongsville, Ohio - which is where Cinema Wasteland happens twice a year.

What is Cinema Wasteland? Foolish human, Cinema Wasteland is like the Matrix, it cannot be described, it can only be experienced...

In the spirit of such movie-memorabilia and nostalgia expos as the Monster Bash in Pittsburgh and DragonCon in Atlanta, and the "HorrorHound" weekend, Cinema Wasteland is a fan gathering, film marathon, variety show and memorabilia expo at the Holiday Inn Select of Strongsville, devoted to what founder Ken Kish, of Berea, likes to call the "Drive-in and grindhouse era" cinema, roughly from the late 1950s to the late 1980s.

Yes, there is still a drive-in near Cleveland - and it's starting a very special summer...

Reporting by Charles Cassady, Jr.

Ever since LeBron left, the only thing significant about Cleveland, we can all agree, is the proximity to the Aut-O-Rama Twin drive-in movies in southeastern Lorain County. The Aut-O-Rama Twin is practically the lone survivor of the great era of drive-in movie “ozoners” in northeast Ohio. Managed lovingly by the Sherman family, the two-screen Aut-O-Rama has a spiffy snack bar (no outside food allowed, sorry), clean facilities, newly installed digital projection, and easy access via I-480 and the Ohio Turnpike in North Ridgeville.

In short, it’s the lone option left for locals to experience the classic American (or Australian) summer ritual of going to enjoy outdoor movies after the sun goes down. Customary Aut-O-Rama Twin spins are first-run mainstream features…but for the summer of 2013 the Shermans decided to program “Retro Tuesdays.” Every Tuesday night brings a double feature of classic pop cinema from the 1970s and 1980s, back when other local drive-ins roamed the Earth. (moment of silence, please, for the departed Miles Drive-In and the three-screen Memphis Drive-In, among others)

CinEvent brings retro-film appreciation to Columbus, May 24-27

[CinEvent takes place Friday May 24 th through Monday May 27 th at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in Columbus, OH.]

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.

Ever since LeBron James left, the most significant thing about Cleveland has been…uh…er…I can’t really think of anything at the moment. Anyone up for a Memorial Day weekend road trip?

And if anyone still has money to buy gasoline (which leaves me out), the prime destination this weekend ought to be an Ohio Memorial Day tradition, CinEvent. This has been an annual Columbus movie expo for 45 years now, taking place in 2013 at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in Columbus.

For those of you, I think the word is “grownups,” who actually knew that THE GREAT GATSBY was derived from an F. Scott Fitzerald novel, not a superhero comic, CinEvent is more for you than a lot of weekend nostalgia expos. This one is lovingly oriented toward the classics of Hollywood’s golden age (sorry, HANGOVER 3 doesn’t count – and neither will HANGOVER 4 or 5), the silent and the early talkies, plus “late” entries going up to the 1950s and 60s. Fittingly, CinEvent is the state’s oldest and movie expo.

GhoulardiFest! November 2-4 in Parma (naturally)

[GHOULARDIFEST! takes place from Friday November 2nd through Sunday November 4th at the UAW Local Hall in Parma, OH.]

Reporting by Charles Cassady, Jr.

 
Ever since LeBron James left the only thing significant about Cleveland is GhoulardiFest, happening as an apres-Halloween treat this weekend in the only place it could happen - Parma. 

It's virtually impossible to imagine North Coast culture without channel 8's Ernie "Ghoulardi" Anderson, who, as host of WJW-TV's Shock Theatre, put on a garishly phony goatee and Fu Manchu mustache and spiced up B-grade horror and sci-fi flicks for insomniac viewers in beatnik-comic fashion for a few brilliant years there in the mid-1960s. The silver-tongued announcer, unrecognizable in his fright-wig disguise, would do blackout comedy bits (some including a young sidekick named Tim Conway), sound effects,

songs and the catchphrases. "Turn blue!" "Stay sick!" "Ovaday!" "Dorrrothy..." And offscreen his family grew to include filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson (MAGNOLIA, PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE, THE MASTER and othes).

CinEvent in Columbus, May 25-28, 2012

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.

Memorial Day is, of course, a holiday weekend set aside by the nation to honor those who perished violently on blood-drenched battlefields of a world gone maaaaaaaad! What better milieu, among the grief for the losses and terrible waste of human lives…to contemplate the movie industry?
 

And an Ohio Memorial Day tradition to do so is CinEvent, an annual Columbus tradition for 44 years now, taking place in 2012 at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in Columbus.
 

Oriented toward the classics of Hollywood’s golden age (sorry, BATTLESHIP doesn’t count), CinEvent is the state’s oldest and best established movie-nostalgia expo, and unlike other “cons” it’s less focused on celebrity guests than on memorabilia and relics. At CinEvent one can browse at more than 170 tables of dealer tables full of movie merchandise. Everything from autographed star portraits to animation cels to rare tie-in paperbacks to eminently affordable old posters and lobby cards. Then there are the ultimate movie collectibles - movies. I'm not talking VHS or digital discs (there will be those as well), but actual 8mm, 16mm and 35mm reels of celluloid film, tons of it.
 

HorrorHound Weekend (March 23-25 at the Crowne Plaza Columbus North)

[HORRORHOUND WEEKEND takes place Friday March 23rd through Sunday March 25th at the Crowne Plaze Columbus North Hotel)

Event preview by Charles Cassady, Jr.

Would you drive to Columbus to attend something called “Women in Horror?” Gas prices are what, about $4? And didn’t you want to forget that ex-girlfriend/ex-wife/ex-female-boss-or-co-worker anyway?

Well, this Women in Horror is actually an iteration of HorrorHound Weekend, a barnstorming semi-regular horror and Hollywood nostalgia “con” (convention) that roves around the Midwest, from Indianapolis to Cincinnati and Columbus. Yes, Ohio’s capital is the closest it ever seems to get to Cleveland, and the guest list demonstrates why: Pam Grier, Cassandra Peterson, Tippi Hedren, Sherilyn Fenn, Adrienne Barbeau, Barbara Crampton, Danielle Harris, Fabiena Udena, Julie Adams, Denise Crosby etc. etc. Do you think females of this caliber would ever show up in Cleveland? Well, maybe when LeBron was still here. And if they had free front-row seats. Otherwise, no.

(And yes, I am aware Barbeau portrayed a `typical’ working-class Parma type on “The Drew Carey Show.” That’s why I always considered that sitcom to be sci-fi/fantasy. Cruel, sadistic sci-fi/fantasy.)

The lovely ladies will be joined from Friday, March 23, through Sunday, March 25, by a galaxy of creature-feature-genre celebrities, including director Stuart Gordon (and his own actress-wife, Caroline Purdy-Gordon), Gunnar Hansen, Doug Bradley, Tyler Mane, WWE wrestler Rhino, an all-star roll call of regional TV horror hosts and much more. There will also be a Saturday-night rock-music-and-burlesque-revival show, many vendors, film screenings (including the Ohio-made THE RAGE, with a Midnight Syndicate soundtrack), a costume contest and plenty of other delights.

Suddenly the Rock Hall inductions this year don’t seem so important after all. Tickets at the door are $20 each, with a weekend pass for $45 and a special VIP rate of $100. It happens at Crown Plaza Columbus North, 6500 Doubletree Ave., in your-know-what-cool-Ohio-city

The website, with last-minute guest additions and deletions (sorry, Natasha Henstridge fans), is www.horrorhoundweekend.com.

Dope Island with Charles Cassady Jr.: My video mini-tribute to Buster Crabbe

I guess in all the hysteria over President's Day (LOL) I overlooked the birthday in February of Larry "Buster" Crabbe, who would have been 104. The Olympic athlete and serial actor was a hero to countless youngsters back in the days when movie properties like "Buck Rogers" and "Flash Gordon" were innocent, unpretentious low-budget fun, and I can only wonder how much boys in the Great Depression (the first one) enjoyed escaping into such chapter plays onscreen. Crabbe always seemed to be having fun and really looked like an Alex Raymond drawing come to life. I fiddled with the Buck Rogers trailer in iMovie when I was stranded somewhere, sleepless, poor and unhappy without internet access for a night - but with a sometimes-functioning iBook - and lo, here is my little tribute.