[MARRIAGE ITALIAN STYLE screens Saturday December 10th at 5 pm and Sunday December 11th at 3:30 pm at the Cleveland Cinematheque.]
Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.
At the harness-racetrack, one of my many part-time jobs this week, I overheard on the headset one of my young co-workers discussing the televised Victoria's Secret runway show. In despair. He said the lingerie models were so hot it was literally painful to his eyes; he could barely watch them. Well, for his benefit and the peace of mind to all similarly afflicted males, let me as a man of the world tell you this: Those Victoria's Secret girls may seem fabulous now, but just wait. All that booze, marijuana, heroin, cocaine, peyote, methamphetamine, airplane glue and toad venom will eventually take their toll. So will the numerous illegitimate children, four or five apiece, all by different fathers (and it’s always Colin Farrell; I don't get how that works either). Then there's the facially scarring sportscar wrecks, the acid burns from DIY chemical peels, ghastly reconstructive/cosmetic surgery, tanning-bed accidents and botched implants. The domestically violent pro-athlete or rap-star boyfriends. The exercise-yard beatings in prison after the shoplifting/assault convictions. The many years of living rough on the streets after being expelled from the ashram for stealing the guru's platinum-grade credit card.
Review by Charles Cassady, Jr.
