31 Days of Halloween 2016: 31 (now available on VOD)

[31 Days of Halloween 2016: 31 is now available on VOD.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

* Note: As with last year’s 31 Days of Halloween marathon of horror movie reviews, we’ll be diving deep into the new release section looking for modern horror fare. We'll be hoping for the best, but frankly expecting the worst. *

Just to get this out of the way, I am not one of those hand-wringing, horror-hating film critics who gets upset over cinematic violence, gore, and sadism. So while it probably bears mentioning for those more sensitive readers that Rob Zombie's 31 is indeed rife with blood and brutality, that's not why I think it's the worst movie of the year so far (in a year with several strong contenders for that title). No, it's because 31 is just straight up lousy filmmaking.

I suppose some sort of plot synopsis is warranted, so here goes. We start off with a black and white scene in which a homicidal clown named Doom-head (Richard Brake) gives a laughable monologue that tries way too hard to be edgy and disturbing before killing his helpless victim.

The Lords of Salem (now on home video)

[THE LORDS OF SALEM is now available on home video.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

Despite the profits generated by his remake of HALLOWEEN and its obligatory sequel, director Rob Zombie's follow up THE LORDS OF SALEM came and went from theaters so quickly and with so little fanfare its likely many horror fans didn't even know. While not quite as ignominious as Ryuhei Kitamura's MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN and Joel Schumacher's BLOOD CREEK being dumped into bargain theaters for one week to fulfill the bare minimum contractual obligation of a theatrical release, that's probably only because all the bargain theaters seem to have closed down. And like those earlier films, the reason doesn't seem so much to do with quality (have you seen some of the films given wide releases this year?) as it does commercial concerns. Because whatever else one may say about THE LORDS OF SALEM, it is a personal and uncompromising film that cares little about appealing to mainstream horror movie audiences, nor to the die-hard gore hounds who made Zombie's first two films (HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, THE DEVIL'S REJECTS) respectable indie hits.