Fiend of Dope Island: The Fiend's non-cynical Valentine's viewing choice for 2014.

It's Valentine's - for my money, the only holiday that truly deserves a slasher-movie franchise. No kidding, why the hell do homosexuals want the right to get married? I thought their suicide rate was excessively high as it is.

It's also the week that Cleveland's own, venerable SCENE Magazine, for which I once wrote, back when they had more page space, puts together a cheeky annual "lust" issue, in which Clevelanders recount their erotic/romantic adventures (in other words, lie).