MARCH OF THE PENGUINS, a National Geographic release, was
actually a French documentary on the seasonal lifestyle of the emperor penguins
of Antarctica, whose title translated more accurately as
THE EMPERORS' MARCH. With new, poetic English-language narration by Morgan
Freeman (I heard the original French narration was pretty bad, but then again,
Hollywood would spread that kind of rumor), MARCH OF THE PENGUINS became a
genuine must-see nature documentary, of a kind seldom patronized since BORN
FREE. It even inspired (under comic Bob Saget) an adults-only, profane comedy
redub of penguin footage entitled FARCE OF THE PENGUINS, and no higher tribute
can be paid.
Well, maybe one. Here's a latecomer imitation of MARCH OF
THE PENGUINS, with UK
roots. ADVENTURES OF THE PENGUIN KING appears to have started out as a visually
stirring scrutiny of king penguin colonies (because emperor penguins would have
been, like, copying) on South Georgia
Island, off Antarctica.
It was originally voice-hosted by the revered naturalist Sir David
Attenborough. But, for America's
population of ADD/autistic kids, the nice old bloke has been redubbed - with
comic actor Tim Allen.
The outcome actually recalls an older critter flick, the
Japanese-made THE ADVENTURES OF MILO AND OTIS (about a farm puppy and a kitten)
that came to our shores with an especially virtuoso one-man performance by
Dudley Moore, as both storyteller and all the voiceover characters. Sorry, Buzz
Lightyear fans, although Allen tries a lot, ADVENTURES OF THE PENGUIN KING
didn't quite entertain me as much, though I suppose it can certainly hold the
attention of kids.
Despite the title, director Anthony Geffen's waddling
hero, `Rex,' is no flock leader but pretty much an everypenguin, wisecracking
and monologuing through a male king penguin's-POV arc of finding a mate `Pat',
minding an egg, and raising a chick. Complications arise when Pat is
(distantly) killed and eaten by an orca, leaving Rex a king penguin single dad.
Seals and ugly, marauding albatrosses also come into the picture as
antagonists.
Much as it feels more like "The Penguin Clone,"
it's a fair diversion for small fry; the MPAA's dumb PG rating evidently
derives from Allen's single use of "damn" (and he doesn't even utter
it when Pat dies. I'm wondering about this Rex guy, you know. He doesn't seem to mourn very long. Who can tell he wasn't planning
something against Pat from the outset. That's what I get for finally reading
the soon-to-be-major-motion-picture Gone Girl).
THE ADVENTURES OF THE PENGUIN KING was shot using
IMAX-level digital 3D motion cameras, including underwater rigs, and a few
choice theatrical venues got to show it that way. The home-video combo packs
give viewers an option of watching with 3D glasses, so that was one thing this
has over MARCH OF THE PENGUINS (or, for that matter FARCE OF THE PENGUINS). A
half-hour making-of featurette, narrated by David Attenborough, gives an
impression of what this must have been like before Allen's voiceover-gag
writers got hold of it.
Hey, Cleveland International Film Festival, get ahold of this one and redub it a third time so that the penguins are all talking about the wonderfulness of gay marriage. I'd write great blurbs for that. I need the money. (2 1/2 out of 4 stars)
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