Burlesque

Review by Pamela Zoslov

They don’t make gay icons like they used to. In Burlesque, a new musical directed by Steve Antin and largely set in a Sunset Strip “neo-burlesque” club, we witness the contrast between the larger-than-life diva – Cher – and the newer model, the big-voiced but ultimately bland warbler Christina Aguilera. The presence of Cher, in all her iconic splendor, is all that redeems this shopworn show-business fable, a tepid Cabaret/Chicago/Dreamgirls/Showgirls mashup that is essentially a vanity showcase for Aguilera, who has negligible acting ability but is the movie’s star and an executive producer.

Singing is a matter of taste, and there are many people who enjoy the rococo “blue-eyed soul” vocal gyrations of Aguilera, who is praised in this movie for having “a set of pipes” comparable to the great Etta James (by a former Etta accompanist, no less, who is enlisted in the chorus of Aguilera acclaim). Cher, whose singing is idiosyncratic (think of the whinnying impersonation by Jack on Will & Grace), has something else – original style and charisma, the hallmarks of an enduring icon. Judy, Liza, Barbra…and Christina Aguilera? Honey, please.

Aguilera plays Ali, a rather unconvincing Iowa girl with a big voice and big dreams. Ali quits her waitress job and hops a bus to L.A., where she hopes to launch a music career. She glimpses the Burlesque Lounge, an anachronistic cabaret that somehow presents lavish, expensive-looking stage shows. The club has leather-vested, derby-and-eyeliner Clockwork Orange bartenders, a Cabaret-style Emcee (Alan Cumming) and scantily clad girls dancing and lip-synching to retro show tunes like “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.” For some reason, Ali is captivated by this heterosexual drag show, and ingratiates herself with Tess (Cher), the club’s owner. Tess is a tough but fair den mother to her dancers (including Kristin Bell as Ali’s jealous alcoholic rival), and relies on Sean (Stanley Tucci), her gay costumer sidekick, who helps her deal with the impending repossession of her failing club. The affectionate chemistry between Cher and Tucci suggests the better movie this really wants to be.

Ultimately, it’s up to Ali to save the day, and the club, with her purportedly smoldering singing and dancing. Although Ali pays lip service to the grand tradition of burlesque (she studies books and records to prepare for her debut), the movie’s interpretation of that bawdy old art form is a lineup of emaciated dancers in their skivvies vamping onstage, like a Victoria’s Secret runway show set to a “Best of Broadway” CD from the cutout bin. Sexiness is an ineffable quality – it’s hard to say what it is, but it’s fairly clear what it isn’t (gawky Aguilera imitating Marilyn Monroe or performing an ill-advised Sally Rand fan dance).

The movie begs for a higher level of camp — would it have worked better if it were about an actual drag club? — and humor, unless you count as a joke that the song Ali’s aspiring-songwriter boyfriend has been laboring over for years turns out to have lyrics like “Get your ass up/And show me how you Burlesque”). To enjoy Burlesque, it’s necessary to separate it mentally into two movies, “Cher” and “Christina.” Those watching “Cher” have to endure long stretches of “Christina,” which include Ali’s tentative romance with adoring bartender Jack (Cam Gigandet) and near-romance with villainous rich guy Marcus (a wooden Eric Dane). The rewards are two musical performances by Cher: a splashy introductory number and later, as Tess faces an uncertain future, a defiant “survivor” anthem, in which she declaims, “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me.” Yes, there is something freakish about the 64-year-old Cher, her elaborately reconstructed, bionically unlined face and madly sculpted body, and yet she has always been in on her own joke. She’s a disarmingly self-aware celebrity with a winning authenticity that enabled her to transition seamlessly from pop singer to Academy Award-winning actress and back to musical star.

The filmmakers are clearly aiming for cross-generational appeal – older viewers coming to see Cher and younger fans to see Aguilera. But certain qualities transcend age. During Aguilera’s many songs, several bored adolescent girls in the audience were busily texting, their faces illuminated by more pressing business. When Cher began to sing, the smart phones fell silent. 1.5 out of four stars.